Chuck Norris

Saw this website and thought these jokes were the best!!

Blitzkrieg is the German word for Chuck Norris.

Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.

For Chuck Norris, Bloodstain Remover is tax deductable.

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.

The Greeks only put one man in the legendary Trojan Horse. You know who he was... and he knows you know.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Noris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris once took part in a Civil War reenactment. It was the bloodiest day in American history.

If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the crap out of little kids.

Contrary to popular belief, George Bush is a great speaker and rarely mispronounces words. He appears incompetent because he knows Chuck Norris is watching

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Later